2010 Wrap up

In one hour 2010 will be over. God said this year would be a hard year for me and it was. But instead of talking about all the hard stuff I went through I'm going to resist the urge to talk about myself and talk about God instead.

Four things God worked on in me in 2010:

Forgiveness- I learned how to forgive people. How to truly forgive someone and love them the way God loves them. This changed my relationships with certain people in my life in a great way

Letting Go- God told me I had to just let some stuff go. Even if I didn't have the answers I wanted....or any for that matter. I had to learn to let go.

God-Centering my life-I learned it NOT ABOUT ME. Its about God. It never was about me. I was made to glorify His name. I'm merely an extra in a movie Jesus is starring in. Yet He loves me. :)

Giving it to God- God taught me to give everything to Him. Even stufff I think is small and He wouldn't care about. I learned to give all the good the bad and the ugly to Go because he cares for me. 1 Peter 5:7

So here is is. Goodby 2010 and hello 2011!

In Christ,
Friend of God

News!

So lately I've been uncovering the mystery of the opposite sex. In my case...boys. I've noticed that where you're a Christian it’s like you’re a guy magnet! They just want to stick to you and they rarely want to be just friends. So I've been struggling with figuring how to be nice without leading guys on. So far I been steering clear of guys that I think like so I'm not sure if I've made any progress. But hey I'm trying.




And I've also noticed how things are getting me down alot. School is stressing me out because I'm afraid I won't get all A's. I know it sounds silly but that was my goal for this semester and I'm tired at failing at life. I just wanna do stuff right. ugh! But God will take care of me...I just have a problem letting Him do that because I wanna be in charge all the time. Letting go of control is hard. :(



I starting a Christian vlog on Youtube!!!! I'm so excited. So me and God have this thing where I get chills when something is in God's will and stuff like that and had had LOTS of chills.lol. Since I don't have video recording software on my computer its jut gonna be audio. But I think that’s a good idea because it makes the vlog nuetral. I'm going to debunk alot of myths about Christians and Jesus and leave lots of topics up for discussion. I want to have discussions about God with Christians, Atheists, Muslims. etc Its exciting because I feel like this will be my first ministry! So I really hope God is able to use me through this endeavor. So pray for cuz I need lots of it. :)

In Christ,
Friend of God

Upadate!

Hey,

I know its been a while but theres been sooo much going on spiritually and physically...I made a new friend and new drama came with it! lol. But he's off to another state for now. So the drama has subsided. School is going well and I have three papers due this week so pray for me. But I've realized that its really hard to stay walking in victory with God. Its all good once you get there, but next thing you know you've gotten distracted. So right now I'm trying to find right standing with God....AGAIN. I've decided to go to stay in New York and finish my studies instead of going to Boston. And I'm going to study English before I go to law school. So the quaterlifecrisis is over!...at least for now.

In Christ,
Friend of God

Pride

Since I've become a Christian my stance on homosexuality has been confusing. Before I was a Chrisitan I didn't think it was a big deal and I even encouraged it. But when I read the bible and saw the verse that read " to lay with a man as one lays with a woman is detestable to the Lord" I realized I had been wrong about the whole gay thing. But it was hard for me because I felt like I love my gay friends with all my heart but I was hearing from Christoans that it was wrong and gay people basically weren't pleasing to God. So I tried to not think about it and I just followed the basic "love the sinner hate the sin" rule.

But today my school had a host of events supporting the LGBT Alliance. And someone in the administration questioned me about my beliefs about homosexuality. I was really uncomfortable because I really didn't know how to verbalize my beliefs. Is it so wrong to marry someone of the same sex?  The person really forced me figure out the truth of the matter. And I really felt bad because I felt like I sounded like a Christian that just follows other people and I don't think for myself, which isn't true. I just haven't had alot of convos about homosexuality and Christianity.

So I was watching Joyce Myer and thinking about today and I thought "its none of my business". I don't have to figure out if gay people are pleasing to God or if gay people should get married. I just have to love them. Who am I to judge their life? Its not up to me to supervise another christian's walk with God. I'm only responsible for myself and no one else. And realizing that is extremely freeing.

In Christ,
Nydia

Spiritual Warfare

This week I heard the devils voice. I kid you not, if I ever heard the devils voice it was the audible voice I heard on Wed. I know it sounds crazy but it's true. The voice was dark, and demonic. Not like it was trying to be, it just was. I'm saying all this to tell you spiritual warfare is real and so is the devil. And he doesn't want to just mess with you a little bit.  He came to steal, kill and destroy. (John 10:10) So don't be decieved.

In Christ,
Friend if God

He saw the best in me

What an amazing God we have. Have you really ever just sat down and tried to take in His awesomeness? I really had to do that today after listening to Marvin Sapp's "The Best in Me". It doesn't have too many lyrics but the lyrics he does have are extremely powerful. He starts out saying "He saw the best in me, when everyone else around could only see the worst in me". That line in itself is enough to make me cry tears of amazement. It really hits home for me because I've been in situations where EVERYONE around me could only see the worst in me and I felt really low. And I used to think to myself..I'm not that bad. But God knew I wasn't that bad. He only sees me for who I am. He doesn't get surprised by anything I do because He is my creator. He knows what I'm gonna do before I do it.

On another note, church was great today and I met a new friend! And on a sad note a church friend is dying of cancer. She just had a baby and when she delivered her body was basically deteriorated from the cancer. So please keep Alison in your prayers. As I heard this I kinda laughed to myself. Just because I know God can heal her immediately and the only thing you need is faith. It doesn't matter how bad this cancer is because God is almighty. But she still needs prayer.

In Christ,
Friend of God

Update

So, I have lots more stability in my life thanks to my living situation and new responsiblities from God. I have 1 disciple! God has definately called me to be a light in thier life and provide guidance and support. Also I met a new person that I've been running into a lot lately and it looks like I'm going to see that person turn to God. This person looks like their sooooo close to believing! I hope to see the transformation.

Other than that one thing I've decided to work on is actively having faith and trusting in God. I'm also trying to intently study the Bible so I can explain scriptures to other people. But thats all for now!

In Christ,
Friend of God

Growth!

Yesterday was a hard day. Well actually i was a hard night. The day went okay, but I cried last night. And I hate crying. I know I need to let this go, but I feel like crying makes you look like a punk. Family drama always makes me cry. That's why I try to avoid them. I guess its because I always get blamed for most of the wrong things that go on. I know its not my fault but I wonder how they can come to that conclusion because I'm only 20. How could everything be my fault when I haven't even really started life yet?



But I do feel sad about the whole situation. It's like my parents don't want me and I'm by myself. Times like this I really wish I was in Illinois, where I had all the support I needed. I miss hanging out with friends and not worrying and anything.


On the flip side I'm definitely growing. I notice when these hard times come I lean on God alot and I'm able to feel better faster and I worry a lot less than I did 9 months ago. :-) So I guess these hard times suck but I'm able to see my growth very clearly so I thank God for that. And I do trust Him with everything. One tool I realized that is extremely powerful when I feel like satan is attacking me is speaking the Word out loud. I am so grateful I learned this tool. When I was feeling like I was a waste of an egg I starting reading verses of Encouragement for strength. Psalm 3:3-6, Psalm 5:11-12, Psalm 18:28, 35, Psalm 28:7. And it was so amazing how speaking these verses aloud just melted the pain away. The Word really is your sword! And now I feel like I'm ready to take on whatever satan has.


So although I'm going through lots of trials I am truly coming out of them stronger thanks to Jesus!



In Christ,
Nydia

Renewing my mind

So ever since I discovered Joyce Meyer had all her shows/preaching’s on her website, I've been addicted! And it's so good to listen to her speak truth. One of the principles I've immediately put to practice is the renewing of my mind.




She quoted Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he (this is KJV, a version I NEVER read.lol)



I never realized how much power my thoughts had until now. I've always believed that if something happened there was some reason God made it happen, but I didn't realized that changing the way I think could change my life. So I've been checking every thought that is questionable and trying to think the way Jesus would think. And I've actually been seeing results. And I know it's because I've been thinking positive Godly thoughts and continually being in the Word. I hope this makes sense, because sometimes I can't explain things relating to God so clearly. It's like this...I know what it is in my heart but I can't always put it into words people can understand. So bear with me.



Another thing I just recently staring working on (meaning today) is forgiveness. Yup. I used to hold grudges and although I don't hold grudges anymore it’s still hard for me to forgive people that have hurt me. So I am trying to forgive my parents wholeheartly with everything in me. I feel like this is the beginning of total freedom because I have always tried to run away from them because I felt hurt around them. So forgiving them will set me free from that bondage.



Lastly please check out Joyce Meyer if you haven't already. She gives out free tapes and books sometimes and many of the books she sells on her sites are OVERWHEMINGLY discounted! joycemeyer.org
In Christ,
Friend Of God

How did I live before?

On Monday I lost my phone. So on tuesday I was rectracing my steps to find it. Usually when I lose my phone, it finds me. People call my parents because I have their numbers under Mommy and Daddy.lol So I got nervous when I couldn't find it. Then when I got home I told myself I had to check the school bus I rode...When I called it I heard my voicemail right away so I knew the battery was dead. Which meant I REALLY had to find my phone because it sounded like no one had found it. So I ask the bus driver if he saw  red phone on the bus and he tells me where to find it. That was a great feeling.

It was so great because I just relied on God to take care of everything. I know it sounds silly because its just a cell phone, but its little incidents like this that help grow your faith. Then I wondered how I survived before I knew Jesus, and I was quickly reminded

I was extremly careless and lost everything! Keys, phones..you name it.So it's nice to say "Hey God can you help me out here?" and to just know that its in His control and he's gonna help me find my keys or phone.

In Christ,
Friend of God

Reading Tim Keller

   I'm really a good book my Tim Keller called Counterfeit Gods "The Empty Promises of Money,  Sex and Power and the Only Hope that Matters. This is the second time I'm reading it and I'm still getting a lot out of it. One of the many convictions I had as I read it was Keller's reference to Job. He knows what He is doing with me and when He has tested me I will come forth as pure gold. Job 23:10 I'm really going to put forth a conscious effort to not focus on how hard my trials are but to act in a way that would be pleasing to God.

Another thing I took note of was to remember that God is both Holy and Gracious.So just because I'm suffering doesn't mean God is being a bad God. He knows what I'm going through and it pains Him to see me cry but He knows it will make me better in the long run.

I think I'm going to take a stay-cation and focus all my attention on God. :)

In Christ,
Friend of God

On a more positive note...

Everything hasn't been doom and gloom! I'm learning so much about my future and the plan God has for me. I feel like God is pushing into me in the direction of Entertainment Law. Which is great because it fits my personality and interests. I've started to talk to some faculty in my school about how I should go about preparing for this career and I've gotten some great advice so far. I plan to set up some informational interviews with some top lawyers this semester.

In Christ
Friend of God :)

Update on Trial Year

So, right now I feel down in the dumps. Been kicked out and flat out rejected. Rejection is a horrible feeling. You can't even pick yourself up really because you feel like you’re trying to persuade yourself that you are good enough. This doesn't work that well, because you are still rejected by that person and they don't care how well you try to pick your face up.




I guess at this point I should know that I'm never rejected in Christ and He always accepts me no matter what. I just wished people worked that way.



One of my relative told me some interesting things today. They said I'm getting punished for the stuff I did/do. They also said I'm going to succeed and excel because I've put down so much and I'll be better for it. I thought about my "punishment” and I wondered if what they said was right. Am I really getting punished for all my previous sins? Then that’s means if I didn't become a Christian I wouldn't have all these problems and be going through everything I have to deal with now. I guess I do deserve the punishment. I used to be a bad person son this is my punishment. I guess God is humbling me so I can really appreciate His blessings when they come.



In Christ,

Friend of God

There will be blood.lol

I remember the day I decided to follow Jesus. It was great! But If I knew then, what I know now I probably wouldn’t have made the leap. And I’m glad no one told me. I was not aware that on that day I become a little blip on the devil’s radar. That day the devil knew I was going to give him some trouble.


Today I had a meltdown. It was just a buildup of all the struggles I’ve been having and I just couldn’t take it anymore and I started to cry. It’s like I can’t get a break. There is always a problem, something that’s holding me back or someone for that matter who is discouraging me. I’m just tired of the stuff going on in my life.

On the positive side I’ve decided to learn from it and lean on God instead of curling into a ball and trying to hide or ignore it. Yes it sucks to be poor, tired, persecuted and discouraged but God is still good and He’s still watching over me. And as long as I’m on HIS radar, I’ll be taken care of.

After my meltdown I was rumbling through my purse looking for something and I found a scripture I got from church on a little piece of paper. It reads:

“We live in such a way that no one will stumble because of us, and no one will find fault with our ministry. In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind. We have been beaten, been put in prison, faced angry mobs, worked to exhaustion, endured sleepless nights, and gone without food. We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, out patience, our kindness, by the Spirit within us faithfully, and by our sincere love. We faithfully preach the truth. God’s power is working in us. We use the weapons of righteousness in the right hand for attack and the left hand for defense. We serve God whether people honor us or despise us, whether they slander us or praise us. We are honest, but they call us imposters. We are ignored even though we are well known. We live close to death, but we are still alive. We have been beaten, but we have not been killed. Our hearts ache, but we always have joy. We are poor but we give spiritual riches to others. We own nothing, and yet we have everything.”

-2 Corinthians 6:3-10

After reading this I felt a little better about my situation and I knew I would be able to withstand more trials.

Today was an interesting day. I left my metrocard at home so I relied on God to get me to school and back. It wasn't the worst thing in the world but I had to take the long way to get to school. I realize I have lots of animosity in my heart and I don't know how to make it go away. Of course you pray to God that He takes care of it, but how do I replace those feelings with love when I have to see them everyday? I hate where I live so much. I've never felt so much hate all the time at one time...if you catch my drift. I can't wait for the day when I don't have to depend on my parents. It's a sad thing when you're basic needs aren't met. I hope God will deliver me soon so I can be a better servant.

Friend of God

I can see now

I was at a family function today and it was great to see family and get some good panamanian food! It reminded me that I have to learn to cook arroz con pollo.lol. But I started to talk to family members I hadn't spoken to in a while and they were really encouraging! Two of my cousins even gave me some money for copyrighting our logo. I couldn't believe it, but I guess that's just God's love. I also saw some things in my family members I didn't see before. I saw pain and envy in people I guess I didn't pay attention to before. But that just gave me hope, and more stuff to pray for.lol. I was starting to run out. It's funny because you don't realize how much your family has your back even when you don't spend too much time around them. What sucks is when family are the one's discouraging you. But the wacky thing is they are usually trying (in they're mind) to motivate you to do better. But its crazy because I'm listening more and starting to see people for who they are. Sometimes its hard because we may have been thinking that a person is honest and positive, and they are really selfish and envious. The fantasy is better than the reality. But the truth hurts. And one of my cousins is going to be a huge baller in the film industry one day which was cool to find out. I'm sure he has so much talent, he just needs to take a leap of faith. :) But yeah, I love family functions.

In Christ,
Friend of God

No Grace?

It's so confusing to me that some people don't judge other people with the same metrics they use to judge themselves. You know what I mean...when you make a mistake its" what's wrong with you? shouldn't you have known that was going to happen?", but when they make a mistake it's "I'm a normal person just like everyone else, I'm not perfect".We'll you act like it. What's up with that? They don't even speak softly, but don't talk to them with an attitude...ohh no. All hell will break loose. I just wonder why they think speaking harshly will make someone listen to them. It's exactly the opposite. People flee from negativity. Why don't they understand you have to give people grace? I guess it all goes back to God. If God isn't the love of their lives they probably won't want to please Him. So there's no incentive to follow his commands.

Stuff like this makes me want to stay far away from Christians who aren't purely living for God and unbelievers all-together....no matter who they are. Or drastically limit my contact with them. I'm not being judgemental or anything...they're just different people and a lot less loving. I guess thats even more reason to be around them. So they can see what God's love feels like. :)

In Christ,
Friend of God

Catching Up

So I haven't been writng an new posts because my life has been really sucky and for some reason I don't want to write about the bad things...only the good. I have been batteling depression and family drama has had me considering suicide heavily. And that's totally not me. But the drama has made me feel lonely and hopeless. When I am myself I am happy and laughing all the time. And I make friends everywhere! That's not the case anymore. But there are some good things that came out of that pain. I just started speaking to my cousin Lisa. She a baller and one of the few people in my family that speak my language. The Jesus language...not everyone can understand you you, when you're a Christ follower. That's good because we're meant to stand out but its a little frustrating sometimes. I learned alot about myself during this time also. I didn't know I was angry and I still held resentment for some people in my life. Now that I recognize it, I can let it go and ask God to show me how to love that person like He would. I also know how to deal with pain better. If somethiong is extremly painful and I can't handle it I usually just crumble. But through this trial I have learned to fight the darkness with light and God's Word.

Aso for school, its like the beginning again. Since we have had exams and I know the expectations of my professors I have to rearrage my study habits to fit their teaching styles. But my spanish class is really tough, he doesn't speak spanish in the classrrom much and on his exams the prompts are all in spanish, which is wierd. Wouldn't you speak in spanish in class if you want us to read the directions in spanish? I don't know....I would understand him alot more if he spoke spanish because his english isn't the best.

I'm really excited about applying to transfer schools in september! I miss campus life soo much! It will be bitter sweet because I'm not going back to Illinois though. But I'll be independent again and out of this year of trial. Maybe I'll reap some things there...I've been sowing alot.

So far, I think I've been a great example of Christ for BOTH my younger sisters. My 6 year old is asking lots of questions and is building a great relationship with God. I'm so happy because if she builds this great relationship with Him at 6, I can't imagine what she'll be doing for Him at 16! It's so encouraging because God used me! It's really statisfying to see that she loves God and wants to please Him. As for my 16 year old she's decided to come to church with me every sunday and she gave offering on her own! That's a huge deal because she believes there are differnt levels of Christianity and that lie is being broken down. She's realizing we're all normal people that just love God. Plain and simple...no big words or special procedures neccessary.

In Christ,
Friend of God

Getting over Trauma

I feel like the world is very disensitized to tramatic situations. Its like we don't mourn anymore. My cousin died in January but now it feels like everyobe is over it. Not like she never existed, but we have to move on and we can't dwell. And since I left U of I I have ignored the fact that I'm mourning inside. And the fact that I'm ignoring the pain inside is causing me to become cold and non feeling on the outside. Not like I'm hurting other people but I'm building a guard so I won't have to hut anymore. It's wierd because I feel like I need to get over it but its obvious to everyone else that I'm unhappy. I know that I need to be joyful in my sufferings because that sthe only way I'm going to get through it, but sometimes I feel like I'm trying to be happy byt I just can't. I feel like I need to make new friends but its like I'm not myself anymore and I lost my power of making new friends, not to mention I'm not sure if I want them. I guess the first step is being open so I'll try that.

God's love changes us

I missed the majority of the message in church on sunday but in small group we discussed it and it boiled down to one sentence" God's love changes us". This statement is soo true. After we realized we are loved beyond mesure we don't seek approval from man anymore. Or at least, that's the goal...Today I was talking with my bffl about being teased in the 7th grade and how that affected my confidence as I got older. And how it affects my confidence now when I see the people who teased me. She urged me to use this opportunity as one to bring glory to God. Which is easier said than done, but because I know God loves me no matter what and I don't need approval from man, its A LOT easier to show these people love.But when I think about how I was afraid to go to school in fear of being teased I think about how God has changed me and how he was protecting me during those times. Even when I didn't know he was around. It's crazy becasue you hear about so many teens committing suicide and need I mention Colombine...due to teasing. I hope when I have children I can protect them from this type of teasing.

In Christ,
Friend of God

First Day

Today was my first day of classes and it was really cool..except for the fact that I didn't get to eat until 5:30. No one around the school took credit and I haven't been carrying cash around. I like my professors and it looks like I will enjoy the material in my classes. I was uncomfortable most of the day though. I guess its because I still feel like I belong at U of I. As soon as I make some friends at the new school, I should feel more comfortable. But even getting to that point is really hard. I don't want to feel like I'm replacing my friends and honestly I don't think anyone can take their places.

In Christ,
Friend of God

Was Slavery an Accident?

I was reading Acts and I came across this verse and it said " Your descendants will be strangers in a country and not their own, and they will be enslaved and mistreated four hundred years". Acts 7:6 I'm not saying slavery was a good thing. I coundn't imagine having to go through the things enslaved Africans went through. And the consequences of slavery are evident...even today. But this isn't the first time I've felt like slavery wasn't an accident. Maybe God mad it happen for His glory. I just don't think it was a coincidence that this verse basically describes slavery. They were strangers in a country that wasn't their own...they were enslaved and mistreated...for 400 years! I don't think this was a coincidence. And I guess it worked in God's favor because many of the slves converted to christianity. It just wansn't the best of circumstances. Comment if you think I'm wrong.

In Christ,
Friend of God

Interpretation

My friend's little sister asked me to participate in this online bible study post on facebook, so I did willingly. But I was surprised that in my opinion that the topic was so surfacy. The question asked if it was wrong to judge someone by their outward appearance. And the topic was Modesty. My first thought was duh! Of course you shouldn't judge a person by their outward appearance. That tells you nothing. But then I thought she's like a sophomore in high school that made a facebook bible group. She's really seeking after God's face. What seems elementary for me may be groundbreaking for her. This is actually a great feat. But it also reminded me of how much I have grown over the past year. Another thing I noticed while participating in the bible study was the misinterpretation of the bible ....and by christians! You would think that we would be the ones to get it right.lol. Not so. I feel like my friends misinterpreted every bible verse she quoted, and I was astonished. I used to think she was such a holy person and here she was missing the bigger picture. God doesn't really care about what we wear on our bodies. He wants us to put forth good works and bear good fruit! I really don't think God would be angry if I got a tattoo if I stayed trued to His word and kept all His commands. Lots of people reference the Old Testament when discussing tattoo's but that was COMPLETELY different. In those days they were cutting their skin for idols. In this time a tattoo is hardly cutting of the skin and I don't think anyone who wanted a tattoo would be interested in cutting their skin. We get tattoos as a way of self expression, and I believe that can be a beautiful thing. Yes I believe my body is a temple, but I don't think by getting a tattoo 'm desecrating it in any way. What if I got a tat of Galatians 1:10 on my wrist? I feel like everything is cool as long as you check it with God first. Ask for His opinion.




In Christ,
Friend of God

I'm Back!

Whew! That was scary. Satan had me for a while. Before I thought I understood satan's tactics but I feel like I have lived through them over this past week. Even though I was depressed it feels good to know satan has to try harder to contain me. And I just get stronger through the process. Its funny because one of my close friends was going through the same thing I was. We were both on Jesus high's and then we fell into a depression. Its crazy because she's in a different continent, yet were are fighting the same spiritual battles.


So, Tammy Smith an amazing example of Christ and a speaker was talking about how we judge other during one of her sessions. And she said we not only judge them by how they look but how they come off. So we are easily thrown off by someones cockiness, beauty or intimidation. But you can never tell what's going on inside of a person. I know of a time when I sent one of my friends an facebook message and she didn't reply back, I was thrown off because I thought I spit some serious Jesus fire in that message. Turns out she didn't even get the message. I assumed the worst when I should have been assuming the best.

In Christ,
Friend of God

Losing Faith

The past few days haven't been good. I feel like I'm losing faith in my family and even in my own efforts. I'm just ready to give up right about now. I feel like I'm helping lots of people out and no one is helping me. I guess I need to stop, because no one ever did anything for Jesus. I guess I'm getting depressed. I feeling really sad and angry all the time, so I don't know if that's normal for people who feel depressed. I should probably evalutate what I'm doing now that I wasn't doing before. Because I was so hopeful last week and this week its gone...well actually Tuesday was a really good day. I don't know. I hope I can overcome this. I guess it could be a spiritual attack, but I'm so angry and I want to exert violence. During times like this I really wonder if God knew what He was doing when He chose me.

In Christ,
Friend of God

There always a way out

So sometimes...we'll alot of times it can be hard to do the right thing. Today I was having a argument with a family member that I shouldn't have been having. I knew better than to argue. But for some reason I kept on talking until I go so upset. I officially done. I used to hold grudges alot and that's what started to happen. I had begun to cut myself off emotionally. And I'm really good at doing this...unfortunately. It's like my heart just got harder...bit by bit. And I said to myself I wouldn't talk to her anymore, I was just going to ignore her. But I knew that wasn't the right thing to do, but I was hurt. How could she treat me this way when I had always been there for her? I was always looking out for her and I never asked for anything in return. Then God began to tell me she's acting the way she should. She doesn't submit to God. She doesn't seek his face...she's being used by satan to do his work and she doesn't even know it. And then I just felt torn and worn down. Why is it always up to me? But the truth is God always provides away out. I was ready to cut her off and I thought to myself" if she apologizes I guess I would forgive her, but she would never do that" and the next thing you know....she apologizes. That's totally Jesus! He always provides away out. I couldn't stay angry and bitter after she said sorry. I was like" okay Jesus, you got me". So just remember that. There's always a way you can please God.
In Christ,
Friend of God

Is that what love is?

I'm a huge an of Charmed and even though its off the air I still get to watch it, because my sister has the episodes on DVD. So I think I have dissected Pheobe and Cole "love" down to infatuation, lust and adventure. I don't think they ever really loved each other. We'll maybe she loved him, and he admired her but I'm not completely convinced it was true love. I don't think they spent enough time together to love one another. There was never a definitive moment where you could say " that's why he/she loves him/her". It was like their love came out of nowhere. They were infatuated with each other for no apparent reason other than lust, and it was adventurous. Cole got a high because he was dating a Charmed One. Someone he was supposed to kill. And he researched her. He didn't even know Pheobe. Weird. But apparently it was true love after they slept together. I don't know...maybe I'm just over analyzing it. I feel like love should be more than that. It should be more than making out and having sex. I feel like God wants us to enjoy our partners and not just physically speaking. I want to be in a relationship where we can both get energized by seeing God's will be done. I want someone who will love me as a sister and Jesus enough to hold himself back from commenting on my body. I really feel like me and my boyfriend should be really good friends. And people say they want to be friends all the time, but I mean REAL friends. Like he's smelled your farts and you guys can have inside jokes and your'e cool with his friends. It not like you have be friends with his friends but you share mutual values.



Today the message at Church was about sex and might I say it was really uplifting. The pastor said in today's society we try to re-create God in our romantic relationships. We look for the other person to complete us. I feel like that is so true. Because today's society looks for the other person to be their everything. But the problem is that role is only fit for God, so you're going to be hurt when you ask so much of someone that doesn't even have control over their own life! So that's my Valentine's Day post.

I think I keep myself busy...

   So I don't start classes until March 1st and to keep myself busy I've been working on my nonprofit and entering business competitions. So I started a business called Total Professional Development and our mission is to professional develop the adults in Champaign County who don't have a college education. Champaign is in Illinois..two hours from Chicago. We haven't officially launched yet though. We're still working out the kinks. And by we I mean me and my partner. He's my bffl (best friend for life). I'm glad I'm doing business with a fellow believer and friend. It makes alot of the stresses easier.


So due to the fact that I'm a dropout and I technically don't have anything to do, some people think I'm lazy. Today my sister told me I did absolutely nothing today which isn't true. But I guess if I look at it from her point of view all I did was stay in the house. I can't wait till she opens her mind. Today I checked emails, caught up with friends at my old college and did some research on the business. I also did my devotion and listened to an online sermon. In addition to speaking with a director of a special program at my current community college about financial aid opportunities. And I just got off the phone with my business partner. I think I kept myself pretty busy today.

In Christ,
Friend of God

Why is it so hard?

So right now I'm an Accounting major but I feel like God is pulling me to go into Human Resources so the natural thing would be to switch my major to Human Resource Managemnt right? Wrong. It doesn't feel natural at all. At my previous college we were basically fed that if you weren't a Finance or Accounting major, you were nobody. Thats why its so hard for me not to go into Accounting. Its what I know. Why is it so hard to trust God? I mean to trust that He always knows whats right?


In Christ,
Friend of God

Don't Judge

I absolutely hate when other people are judged....especially when it comes to family? I mean how can you judge your family? Your family should hold the highest expectations for you. For some reason my cousin doesn't realize he has immeasurable potential to succeed, and because of that he makes really silly descions. And people in my family judge him but they aren't taking the time to see why he does the things he does. It just makes he upset to see that in my own family people can be so quick to judge. That's why I love the story of the prodigal son so much. If I ever have a son that squanders his fortune and comes home broke, I hope God can give me the strength to bless him beyond measure.



In Christ,
Friend of God

Transition

So this is a time of transition for me. Recently I become a college dropout...but not for too long, just a week and a half. I went from attending the esteemed University of Illinois College of Business to attending Kingsborough Community College in Brooklyn, NY. I went from being an RA in a private certified dorm with my own central air, balcony and dishwasher at hand to living in a basement with my mother and sister. I also went from being important to no one knowing my name. Many people would call this a serious downgrade. But the world is foolish. Because this is actually an upgrade. I went from loving Jesus when I had time to being a much more involved humble servant. Now I have the ability to evangelize because I actually free time.Go figure! I can be a very close example of the love of God to my mother and sister, I am alot more humble and I don't have the pressure of my reputation hanging over my head. So I would say its definitely an upgrade in Christ. I have had about a month and a half to get accustomed to the city again and get involved in a new church called Grace in Manhattan. I think its great,but it can be hard because I loved my old church. Go I-Life! But God has definalty changed me during this time. I will use this blog to record my experiences during this change and hopefully inspire believers to make a change in their life so they can be a better servant, or provoke nonbelievers to see what Jesus is all about.
In Christ,
Friend of God