Catching Up

So I haven't been writng an new posts because my life has been really sucky and for some reason I don't want to write about the bad things...only the good. I have been batteling depression and family drama has had me considering suicide heavily. And that's totally not me. But the drama has made me feel lonely and hopeless. When I am myself I am happy and laughing all the time. And I make friends everywhere! That's not the case anymore. But there are some good things that came out of that pain. I just started speaking to my cousin Lisa. She a baller and one of the few people in my family that speak my language. The Jesus language...not everyone can understand you you, when you're a Christ follower. That's good because we're meant to stand out but its a little frustrating sometimes. I learned alot about myself during this time also. I didn't know I was angry and I still held resentment for some people in my life. Now that I recognize it, I can let it go and ask God to show me how to love that person like He would. I also know how to deal with pain better. If somethiong is extremly painful and I can't handle it I usually just crumble. But through this trial I have learned to fight the darkness with light and God's Word.

Aso for school, its like the beginning again. Since we have had exams and I know the expectations of my professors I have to rearrage my study habits to fit their teaching styles. But my spanish class is really tough, he doesn't speak spanish in the classrrom much and on his exams the prompts are all in spanish, which is wierd. Wouldn't you speak in spanish in class if you want us to read the directions in spanish? I don't know....I would understand him alot more if he spoke spanish because his english isn't the best.

I'm really excited about applying to transfer schools in september! I miss campus life soo much! It will be bitter sweet because I'm not going back to Illinois though. But I'll be independent again and out of this year of trial. Maybe I'll reap some things there...I've been sowing alot.

So far, I think I've been a great example of Christ for BOTH my younger sisters. My 6 year old is asking lots of questions and is building a great relationship with God. I'm so happy because if she builds this great relationship with Him at 6, I can't imagine what she'll be doing for Him at 16! It's so encouraging because God used me! It's really statisfying to see that she loves God and wants to please Him. As for my 16 year old she's decided to come to church with me every sunday and she gave offering on her own! That's a huge deal because she believes there are differnt levels of Christianity and that lie is being broken down. She's realizing we're all normal people that just love God. Plain and simple...no big words or special procedures neccessary.

In Christ,
Friend of God