Growth!

Yesterday was a hard day. Well actually i was a hard night. The day went okay, but I cried last night. And I hate crying. I know I need to let this go, but I feel like crying makes you look like a punk. Family drama always makes me cry. That's why I try to avoid them. I guess its because I always get blamed for most of the wrong things that go on. I know its not my fault but I wonder how they can come to that conclusion because I'm only 20. How could everything be my fault when I haven't even really started life yet?



But I do feel sad about the whole situation. It's like my parents don't want me and I'm by myself. Times like this I really wish I was in Illinois, where I had all the support I needed. I miss hanging out with friends and not worrying and anything.


On the flip side I'm definitely growing. I notice when these hard times come I lean on God alot and I'm able to feel better faster and I worry a lot less than I did 9 months ago. :-) So I guess these hard times suck but I'm able to see my growth very clearly so I thank God for that. And I do trust Him with everything. One tool I realized that is extremely powerful when I feel like satan is attacking me is speaking the Word out loud. I am so grateful I learned this tool. When I was feeling like I was a waste of an egg I starting reading verses of Encouragement for strength. Psalm 3:3-6, Psalm 5:11-12, Psalm 18:28, 35, Psalm 28:7. And it was so amazing how speaking these verses aloud just melted the pain away. The Word really is your sword! And now I feel like I'm ready to take on whatever satan has.


So although I'm going through lots of trials I am truly coming out of them stronger thanks to Jesus!



In Christ,
Nydia